THEY HURT ME. I CAN'T LET IT GO.

HAS SOMEONE DONE SOMETHING TO YOU THAT STILL HURTS?

Maybe they lied to you.

Betrayed you.

Abandoned you.

Humiliated you.

Took something from you.

Or did something unjust that changed your life.

Time has passed.

But when you remember it...

it hurts again.

And you ask:

WHAT DO I DO WITH WHAT THEY DID TO ME?

WHAT IF THE OTHER PERSON IS NO LONGER THERE, BUT THE WOUND IS STILL INSIDE YOU?

Maybe that person has moved on with their life.

Maybe they no longer think about what happened.

But you still remember.

You replay it.

You get angry again.

You repeat the conversation in your mind.

You think about what you should have said.

You think about what you wish you could say or do now.

And without realizing it...

what that person did keeps living inside you.

So the question becomes:

HAS THE EVENT PASSED...

BUT THE WOUND REMAINED?

And has this happened to someone else too?

JOSEPH'S BROTHERS DID SOMETHING TERRIBLE TO HIM

Joseph was not hurt by a stranger.

He was hurt by his own brothers.

They hated him.

They threw him into a pit.

Then they sold him.

Joseph was taken away from his home.

He lost his family.

He lost his freedom.

And he went through difficult years because of what they had done to him.

He had every reason to say:

“I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM.”

And no one could honestly call what they did a small thing.

ONE DAY THEY STOOD BEFORE HIM AGAIN

Years passed.

Joseph's life changed.

And one day, his brothers stood before him again.

But now everything was different.

Joseph had power.

They did not.

He could have taken revenge.

He could have returned all the pain they had caused him.

He could have made them pay for what they had done.

And they were afraid of him.

What did Joseph do?

NO. HE DID NOT CHOOSE REVENGE.

Joseph wept.

He did not pretend nothing had happened.

He knew exactly what they had done to him.

But he did not choose revenge.

He forgave them.

And he told them that although they had intended evil against him, God had brought good out of his story.

Joseph could not change the past.

He could not turn his life back.

But he could decide:

WILL I KEEP THIS HATRED INSIDE ME?

He chose not to.

BECAUSE I'M THE ONE CARRYING UNFORGIVENESS

When you refuse to forgive...

you may feel as if you are punishing the other person.

But who keeps remembering what happened?

You.

Who becomes angry again?

You.

Who keeps replaying it?

You.

The other person may be far away.

But what they did can keep living inside you.

So forgiveness does not begin with:

“What you did was okay.”

It begins with:

“I DON'T WANT TO KEEP CARRYING THIS INSIDE ME.”

But did JESUS teach this too?

JESUS SUFFERED AN EVEN GREATER INJUSTICE

JESUS was arrested.

Accused.

Mocked.

Beaten.

And finally crucified.

He was not suffering because He had done what they accused Him of doing.

He was suffering because of what others were doing to Him.

And while He was on the cross...

JESUS said something extraordinary.

“FATHER, FORGIVE THEM.”

JESUS said:

“FATHER, forgive them.”

Think about that.

They were hurting Him.

And JESUS was speaking about forgiveness.

He did not say what they were doing was right.

He did not say nothing had happened.

He did not call evil good.

He knew exactly what was happening.

But He did not hold hatred as His response.

He forgave.

Now we have two stories:

Joseph.

JESUS.

What do they have in common?

EVIL WAS DONE TO THEM. BUT THEY DID NOT LET THAT EVIL KEEP LIVING INSIDE THEM.

JOSEPH:

He was betrayed.

He was sold.

He lost years of his life.

And he forgave.

JESUS:

He was mocked.

Beaten.

Crucified.

And He said:

“FATHER, forgive them.”

Forgiveness did not make what happened right.

Forgiveness did not erase the past.

It did something else:

THEY DID NOT KEEP CARRYING THE EVIL INSIDE THEM.

So the question becomes:

What am I still carrying?

WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T FORGIVE?

JESUS spoke very clearly about forgiveness.

He connected the forgiveness we ask from God with the way we respond to those who have wronged us.

That means unforgiveness does not remain only a matter between me and the other person.

It begins to affect my own heart and my relationship with God.

I can ask God for peace...

while continuing to feed hatred.

I can ask God to set me free...

while still holding tightly to what keeps me tied to the past.

So the question is not only:

“Does that person deserve my forgiveness?”

The question is also:

“DO I WANT TO KEEP CARRYING THIS INSIDE ME?”

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FORGIVE?

Forgiving does not mean:

“What you did was okay.”

It does not mean:

“It doesn't hurt anymore.”

It does not mean:

“I forgot.”

It does not mean:

“I trust you again.”

It does not mean you must return to an unsafe relationship.

It does not mean removing healthy boundaries.

And it does not mean justice no longer matters.

Forgiveness means:

“I DON'T WANT TO KEEP CARRYING THIS DEBT IN MY HEART.”

I do not want to spend my life demanding inside myself that this person keep paying every day for what they did to me.

I hand it over to God.

The person.

The injustice.

And my desire for revenge.

YES. YOU CAN BEGIN TO FORGIVE EVEN WHILE IT STILL HURTS.

Your feelings may not change in one minute.

The memory may still hurt.

The wound may take time to heal.

But forgiveness can begin with a decision.

You can say to the FATHER:

“FATHER, You know what they did to me.

You know how much it hurts.

I'm not saying it was right.

I'm not saying it doesn't matter.

But I don't want to keep carrying this hatred inside me.

I choose to forgive.

I give this person and this injustice to You.

Help me.”

And if the memory comes back?

Don't be afraid just because it still hurts.

Return to your decision.

Bring the pain back to the FATHER.

And don't take the burden of revenge back onto yourself.

WHAT IF I NEED FORGIVENESS TOO?

Maybe while you're reading, you realize something else.

You are not only someone who has been hurt.

Maybe you have hurt someone too.

Maybe you did something another person still remembers.

Then don't hide.

Admit it.

If you need to apologize...

ask for forgiveness.

If you can make something right...

make it right.

And go to God with the truth:

“FATHER, I WAS WRONG.”

But can God forgive you?

JESUS IS THE WAY TO FORGIVENESS

This brings us back to JESUS.

He did not only teach us to forgive others.

He came so that we too could be forgiven and return to God.

JESUS said:

“I am the way and the truth and the life; no one comes to the FATHER except through me.”

If you want God's forgiveness...

if you want to return to Him...

the beginning is JESUS.

It is not the words of a formula that save you.

What matters is that you are coming to JESUS with faith and sincerity.

If this is what you truly want, you can tell the FATHER.

A SIMPLE PRAYER

You can say:

FATHER,

I come to You just as I am.

I believe in JESUS.

I believe that He is the Way to You and my Savior.

Forgive me for my sins.

Today I receive JESUS as the Lord and Savior of my life.

Draw me close to You.

Teach me to know You and to walk with You.

I want to begin a new life with You.

In the name of JESUS. Amen.

NOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE

At the beginning, the question was:

“They hurt me.

What do I do?”

Now you've seen Joseph.

His brothers took a great deal from him.

But he did not choose revenge.

He forgave.

You've seen JESUS.

He was mocked.

Beaten.

Crucified.

And He said:

“FATHER, forgive them.”

Now think about what you are carrying.

You do not have to say it was right.

You do not have to force yourself to forget.

You do not have to restore trust immediately.

You do not have to remove the boundaries that protect you.

And you do not have to return to a place where you may be hurt again.

But you can decide:

“I DON'T WANT TO KEEP CARRYING THIS INSIDE ME.”

You can say to the FATHER:

“FATHER, what happened still hurts.

You know what they did to me.

I'm not saying it was right.

But today I choose to forgive.

I give this person and this injustice to You.

Help me not to remain bound to what happened.

Help me not to take the burden of revenge back onto myself.”

Then move forward.

Not because what happened was small.

Not because it didn't matter.

But because you will no longer give what they did to you the right to keep ruling your life.

JOSEPH FORGAVE.

JESUS FORGAVE.

And now the question becomes personal:

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WILL YOU KEEP CARRYING IT...

OR WILL YOU GIVE IT TO THE FATHER?